Learning patience and persistence from a large pile of heavy rocks

Last week I mentioned the adventures with heavy rocks that resulted in me spending too much sedentary time contemplating the effects of inflammation. (I’m doing well now, and I’m learning good stuff from a wonderful PT, so the outlook is much much brighter.)

Now I have a routine for strengthening my back and getting more flexible, so that I can get back to the yard project I wanted to do this summer—which leads me to the subject of motivation.

I’m the kind who does the exercises until I don’t hurt anymore, which has always seemed like a reasonable way to deal with aches and pains. But now I’m seeing that it really isn’t that simple—or at least not so simple as it seemed when I was much younger.

The reality is that if I want to do the yard project, I need a greater level of fitness than I’ve enjoyed in a long time. I won’t be able to finish it unless I get stronger, and getting stronger before the summer’s gone means I need to raise the priority—the exercises  and stretches need to happen every day. I know myself well enough to admit that won’t happen unless I make a routine, linking the physical therapy exercises with something I’m already reliably doing.

Although I say “every day,” and mean it, I also know it’s not a realistic expectation. Life regularly gets in the way of my plans, so I have to recognize and prepare for interruptions—that way I’m more likely to relax and enjoy the distractions, knowing I’ll be able to get back to the routine next day. In this case, my plan is, if I can’t do all the exercises, I will at least do the stretches—and it doesn’t matter when during the day I do them. And since I know life will interfere, I’m more focused on getting the work done on the days it’s easy to keep to the schedule. 

Here’s an outline of the basic idea:

  • Have a goal:  Get fit for yard project
  • Have a plan for daily work: Right now that’s about 25 minutes of exercises and stretches
  • Have a plan for when I can’t (or choose not to) do the work: Do the stretches and skip the harder stuff
  • Have a plan for getting back into the work after a day off: Raise it in the priorities for the day, and/or Enlist helpers to remind me, and/or Use a calendar to mark each day’s effort for a visual reminder 

This last one is more detailed, I think because at this stage I’m still fighting my tendency to see yesterday’s decision not to do the hard stuff as a failure on my part. Even though I know this tendency isn’t helpful, it’s a hard thought-habit to break. So I don’t want to feed it; instead I want the alternative of a reasonable response to those normal days when Plan A doesn’t work.

Another effect of this approach is that by recognizing the obstacles (including the emotional one of feeling shame when I miss a day), and making a plan for dealing with them, it’s easier to follow through. As a result, I become more patient with myself, and thereby more confident that I can make good progress toward my goal.

When I do my early morning routine self-hypnosis, my plan for the day includes doing the PT exercises, too. It all helps.

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